If you are a parent and you’re getting a divorce, one of your biggest concerns is probably how you will safeguard your child or children’s emotional wellbeing. We all know divorce’s impact stretches far wider than just the people who are ending their marriage. Children of divorcing parents are likely to experience confusion, stress, anxiety, and anger. Luckily, the way you talk to your children about your divorce can provide them comfort and help to ease their fears.
Read on to discover our tips for talking to your children about divorce.
1. It’s not a one-and-done conversation.
The conversation only begins when you sit your child down and tell them you are getting a divorce. The dialog should not end after this talk. There needs to be an open door between you and your child. They need to know they can come to you with questions and concerns as they arise. You also need to check in with them periodically to see how they are coping and what they’re feeling. Hopefully with frequent check ins, you’ll be able to get a clearer idea of what your child needs from you to overcome this challenge and thrive.
2. Both parents should engage in dialog with the child.
If at all possible, both parents should be involved in the ongoing dialog. This shows your child that despite everything that’s changing you still are both committing to parenting them as a team. This also prevents any perspectives or insights about the divorce that you share with your child from being one-sided. It is important that your child not feel like they have to pick sides.
3. Make sure to reiterate that you love them and it’s not their fault.
This is particularly important with younger children. Children tend to accept that their parents love them as one of the unshakeable facts about the world. However, when one of the other unshakeable facts — that Mommy and Daddy will always love each other — is disrupted, they may feel that you could stop loving them as well. It is important to reassure them that this will not happen.
Children also need to be reassured that they are not to be blamed for the divorce. Even with no evidence that they had anything to do with their parents’ divorce, many children blame themselves and find this a heavy burden to carry.
If you are getting a divorce and need devoted, compassionate representation, The Grey Legal Group is here to help. To schedule a consultation with a member of our team, give us a call at (951) 587-8970. We can’t wait to hear from you!
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