If you have shared physical custody of your children, it is easy to fall into a routine—which is not a problem. Kids crave consistency; when you have a reliable schedule, they know what to expect and when it will happen. When you and your attorneys sit down to create a parenting plan, you will likely find creative ways of incorporating holidays into your established schedules. Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Mother’s/Father’s Day are prime examples of special occasions that can fit into a well-crafted schedule.
In almost every instance, being proactive is exponentially more valuable than being reactive. When you speak with your attorney about parenting plans and schedules, express how important Father’s Day is. This can extend to the other parent too. If you and the other parent can communicate with one another respectfully, explain to them that you think it is good for everyone if the child spends Father’s Day with you—and how strongly you feel that this equally applies to Mother’s Day.
Planning is Fundamental
In almost every instance, being proactive is exponentially more valuable than being reactive. When you speak with your attorney about parenting plans and schedules, express how important Father’s Day is. This can extend to the other parent too. If you and the other parent can communicate with one another respectfully, explain to them that you think it is good for everyone if the child spends Father’s Day with you—and how strongly you feel that this equally applies to Mother’s Day.
When we say that planning is fundamental, we urge you to take the appropriate steps to figure out how to incorporate Father’s Day into your plan at the earliest stages. If you and the other parent have a plan, you can begin doing things that elevate your co-parenting relationship while supporting your child. For example, if you have a young child, help them put a Father’s Day card together or help them pick out a gift they want to give their father. The other parent will appreciate the selfless act, and your child will get to participate fully in Father’s Day. In contrast, think about how much worse it is for everyone involved when you argue over where the child will be on Father’s Day.
How To Accomplish It
There are several ways in which everyone can win regarding Father’s Day or Mother’s Day. Although we are circling back, ensure that your plan includes Father’s Day. Successful co-parents deviate from their plan. For example, if Father’s Day wasn’t included in the original agreement, you can ask the other parent to have it. You may have to swap weekends and compromise, but great co-parents know how to adapt to what is in their child’s best interest. However, this is not something you should rely on. Why settle for a handshake when it can be confirmed in writing?
This is because the other parent doesn’t have to honor it if it isn’t in the agreement. Even though a child should be with their father on Father’s Day (assuming they are a fit parent), it ultimately comes down to what you and the other parent signed off on previously.
Having the Benefit of Legal Counsel
If the other parent refuses to let you see your children on Father’s Day because it was overlooked during the divorce process—which can happen—you may have to modify your agreement. The easiest way to achieve that is to get the other parent to agree to the modifications, and the most challenging and costly way is going through the court. Those are the extremes, and there are viable alternatives to finding a resolution between the two. Why? Because the law is not black and white.® However, you need reliable and experienced counsel to help you find the most effective way to resolve this matter. Contact The Grey Legal Group for a consultation if you have additional questions about parenting plans, divorce, or post-divorce modifications.
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