Heartbreaking though it is, the dissolution of your marriage has become a reality and your divorce is now well underway. Sadly, the experience is likely going to be very stressful for all the parties involved – you, your soon-to-be-former partner, and your children. However, not every divorce must be a horror story. In fact, even though the relationship between you and your spouse will never be the same again, it is in your best interest to ensure that your divorce is going to be civil, effective, and driven by mutual respect.
But are there really any effective ways to guarantee a truly civil and effective divorce? While you cannot control your partner’s behavior, you yourself can contribute to a divorce that’s as peaceful as possible. In this blog, we present 6 tips you can apply to make sure you’re going to have a smooth divorce.
Realize the Need to Communicate
Communicating with your spouse during the divorce may be one of the hardest things to do – especially if the lack of proper communication was one of the things that contributed to the dissolution of your marriage in the first place. Of course, in order for communication to be effective, you must make an honest effort to control your emotions. Focus on your needs, positions, and opinions – then formulate and rehearse them before communicating them to your spouse. By doing so, you have a greater chance of keeping your emotions in check and avoiding saying something that would escalate into conflict. However, if you find it too emotionally challenging to communicate with your spouse in person, discussing important issues via telephone or email might be a solution.
Learn to Pick Your Battles
In a divorce, practically every issue can become a true bone of contention and lead to the escalation of conflict and negative emotion. However, it can only happen if you let it. So before the divorce proceedings actually start, try making a list of your priorities – things that you are not willing to let go – as well as things of lesser importance to you. You need to remember, though, that fighting over something particularly important to you doesn’t mean you can let yourself be impolite or malicious. Make an effort to remind yourself constantly that, sooner or later, any such negative emotion or feeling will backfire.
Put Everything in Writing
Writing down all agreements you make with your spouse during a divorce – both official and unofficial ones – will help everyone stay on the same page and avoid straying from the arrangements made. In addition, you should also get hard copies of important documents like ones that testify to your ownership of certain assets. Such documents can include bank statements, tax forms, etc.
Take the Blame Out of the Picture
Blaming yourself or your spouse is simply counterproductive – it will only lead to the escalation of conflict and negative emotions and draw your attention away from your goals and the need to see the process through to its end. Additionally, allowing negative emotions to guide your behavior will only make it harder for you to heal once the dust of your divorce settles.
Focus on Your Goals
Focusing on your goals and the future will help you put things into perspective. After all, a divorce isn’t a goal in and of itself. Having a successful future, however, and becoming an emotionally healthy, socially active, and happy person are. Remembering that can make it easier for you to sacrifice less important things for the sake of keeping the divorce going.
Get Professional Legal Help
Going through a divorce can be especially difficult if you don’t have someone you can trust with all the legal aspects involved. The Grey Legal Group offers support, guidance, and comprehensive legal assistance with issues like child custody and support, divorce order enforcement, or property and debt division. Contact us today to talk to a knowledgeable and compassionate lawyer who will understand the issues you’re facing and provide the advice tailored to your unique circumstances.
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