When you’re experiencing marital problems, sometimes it feels like everyone — from your parents to your coworkers — has an opinion. You’re likely to find that many people will attempt to step in and help you by sharing their “words of wisdom.” Unfortunately, oftentimes the divorce advice you hear will be the opposite of wise.
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“Divorce is never the answer. You should stay together for the kids.”
Divorce exists for a reason: Sometimes, after being married for a while, a couple will realize that they are not right for one another. There are so many reasons this could happen. Maybe they did not take enough time to get to know one another before marrying and have completely different value systems. Maybe one or the other has developed an addiction to drugs or alcohol. The list of possible reasons to get a divorce could go on and on. The bottom line is that when you are unhappily married, sometimes the only way to restore the happiness in your life is to get divorced. As for the kids, while it’s totally true that many children struggle to come to terms with their parents’ divorce, it can be even more toxic for them to be raised by parents who don’t love each other anymore. Witnessing bitter arguments and having parents who are miserable is more damaging to a child than being raised by parents who are no longer married, but living happier lives post-divorce. You may even find that by refusing to accept a problematic relationship, you are setting a good and healthy example for your child.
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“Wait at least a year to date again.” or “The fastest way to get over it is to start a new relationship right away.”
While it isn’t intrinsically wrong to start a new relationship right away or to wait as long as you want, you should not base your timeline moving forward on anyone’s expectations of you. There is no “right” time to move on to another relationship. Every person and every situation is unique. If you’ve decided marriage and romance are wrong for you altogether and you never want to have another relationship again, that’s perfectly fine! Follow your heart. Pursue new relationships when and if you want to, not in accordance with the timelines other people deem appropriate or correct.
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“Save money by doing it yourself. You don’t need a lawyer!”
The average person knows very little about all the legal action and paperwork and negotiation that goes into a divorce. Do you have money or real estate that you want to maintain after your divorce? Do you have children that you want to continue to see? Will you need alimony or child support to move forward? If you answered yes to any of these questions, there’s no way around it. You need the guidance of an experienced divorce attorney to successfully navigate the process and reach a satisfying conclusion.
At The Grey Legal Group, we advocate for you fiercely throughout the divorce process because we believe you’re worth it. Contact us to book a consultation.
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